Support systems

Finding new topics to talk about on here like i've said before is never the easiest, I mean you all know I won't shy away from anything personal if I think that anyone that reads this could relate to it. So I figured today i'd take a look at something relevant to every one of us, the people that support us and how Nephrotic syndrome can often put strain on relationships.

The idea for this blog really came from me realising that when I'm on a pred wean I'm a bit of a bitch really. Like I realise the people closest to me are the ones that support me and are with me every step of the way on this journey, so why are these the people I push away the most when i'm upset? It seems ridiculous but anyone living on pred will know its impossible to explain to anyone how conflicted and unlike yourself it makes you feel, so because I can't always explain myself I tend to feel really guilty, I don't know if other people feel this too?

I am incredibly lucky to have a family that do support me through whatever and have made it possible for me to continue on with a normal life and make it through the first year of uni despite of two relapses this year. They listen to the way things make me feel, even though most of the time I cant even make sense of it myself.

I owe a lot also to my boyfriend for dealing with my random flaky moments - deciding to live with me and my dodgy kidneys was a very brave move, I mean the random panics about my future and what this illness is going to lead to are hard enough for me, let alone someone who shouldn't have to take this on. Oh and he didn't disown me when I looked like a scone because of the steroids so he really is a keeper.

Finally I think its easy to focus of how much family help and go through this with you but honestly I can't thank my friends enough for their support, for being there when i'd decided to push everyone away but forcing their way back in anyway. I have friends who were brave enough to make jokes about all this even when I was at most lowest and honestly it helped me to not take myself so seriously. My best friend helped me love my scars and accept they were part of me, not to mention sitting with me through panic attacks and all sorts.

Think what I'm trying to say is that support comes in the smallest ways anything as simple as a text from a uni friend checking I'm okay makes me feel so much better. I think I speak on behalf of a lot of NS sufferers when I say even if its hard to show it because of what we are going through, help and love is so important and makes all the difference.