It has honestly been one hell of a year; things have been crazy to say the least. If you would have told me this time last year that I would have had Rutiximab this summer and only be taking 5mg of steroids I don't think I would have believed it. Two relapses this year is also something I'll count as a positive, obviously my relapse in June was a horrible one, but I've still come out the other end. I still can't help feeling super nervous in the run up to Christmas, filled with constant worry that something will ruin my festive period. This feeling isn't helped by the fact that I have an appointment with my specialist tomorrow and always worry about what he's going to say. I know my dips have been fine, its just a worry what's going on in my bloods! I just need to remember that as soon as my appointment is over I'm heading back to Lowestoft to spend a couple of weeks with my wonderful family.
2018 has seen plenty of change and no doubt 2019 will see even more. I honestly can't believe I've graduated from university this year, when there was times I didn't think i'd even be able to go. Tyler and I have also moved into our own place and moved 120 miles from home. I've started my teacher training course; which hasn't been easy with all the issues i've had going on, but i'm getting there slowly. This new venture has meant i've had the pleasure of meeting some of the most supportive and wonderful people.Things towards the end of this year haven't been the easiest, having to deal with suspected CFS hasn't been fab, i've struggled with not feeling like myself, having to adjust to what I am able to manage and not be able to run at 1000 miles an hour anymore.
All of this has really effected my mental health, so 2018 has been the year of trying to put myself first. As people who read regularly know I have always struggled with my anxiety. This year hasn't been any different and coming to terms with the CFS has left me feeling really down and lost. After years of struggling to get by I decided to finally get some help and went to the doctors last week. I've finally decided that I need to make my own feelings a priority and hopefully i'll be feeling like my carefree old self in 2019. BBC breakfast did a wonderful piece on the the links between kidney issues/ transplants and mental health. I know I haven't had a transplant but what they said really hit home and I think it's something we all need to talk about.
But overall 2018 has been an exciting and crazy year. Wishing everyone a happy Christmas and a wonderful and healthy 2019. May all your dips be yellow over the festive period. I'd like to thank the renal team at Norfolk and Norwich for being wonderful and always putting my health first, fighting for me to get the treatment I need and always being supportive.
Happy Christmas one and all! Only 6 sleeps to go!!! x
