Forever hungry..

Glad to be back to writing this blog, the last couple of weeks I've been focused on getting myself back to usual after having to up my pred dose once again! But not wanting this blog to be a place of negativity I'm pleased to say over the weekend I had a yellow stick! So things are finally on the way back to normal and of course the pred wean starts all over again!

So back on the pred wean, I kinda wanted to take a look at the weirdness that is the side effects of steroids. I know it the past ive blogged about the anxiety caused by them, my scars and generally the way they make you feel abit crappy about yourself, Well I guess this is abit of a side note to all that and maybe a less serious aspect to look at but I guess it's still really important... Being hungry all the time! 

On mine and my boyfriends second anniversary I got him a card that said ' I love you even when I'm really hungry' my cravings when I'm on high doses of steriods and the way this effects my mood has become a long running joke now, I guess it's something that you have to laugh about but I'm pretty sure it must have a big impact on a lot of people that are going through similar experiences. 

I know this is a pretty well known trait of steroids and that due to the way they work its extemely common to put on weight while on a high dose, I wanted to look at the comical outcomes of this on a nearly 20 year old girl who is in a constant fight with the steroid hunger and the desparate want to not put weight on. Okay I have to admit it's not always funny and I do hate the fact that most of the time when I'm on a high dose of steroids all I can think about 24/7 is food and a lot of times during a relapse I've piled on the weight due to never feeling full. This time I've come at it from a different angle I keep trying to convince myself I'm not hungry and it's just a side effect (yeah right like that works) but I've also been filling myself up on things like fruit so that I can eat but don't feel nowhere near as guilty as I used too. 

Being away from home at uni I'm trying to give myself a fighting chance of staying healthy and have been cooking from scratch and eating relatively well and I'm quite proud of myself for sticking to my guns, but no matter what I say it's still pretty easy to run to the shop at the end of the road and buy snacks, which probably happens more than I care to admit! Self control is easier said than done when all I want to do is eat everything in sight! 

The curse of the green dip...

So the saga continues, as I'm keeping this blog pretty up to date it only seems fair that I share my downs with you all as well as all my positives. We all know the pain of a relapse and that's horrible news I have to share today.... 

After nearly 10 months of yellow sticks and managing to get my pred consumption down to the lowest I've ever been since this all started three years ago today I had the dreaded call to tell me my results have indicated relapse. But just to take a moment here to be positive its is pretty early thanks to the use of the sticks and so far I have no swelling really which is always good, I mean that's one less thing you've got to try and control. I have to thank my Dr 1000 times over as well, who knows as I am back at uni I can't just get to see him, therefore he emails me plans of action and always is only a email or phone call away if anything doesn't go to plan. 

But yeah back up on the steroids today, not the best thing but only being put up to 30mg is a blessing I've been so much higher and so much worse off than I am at the moment so I'm taking that as a win and early find is always a good one! My housemates are under strict orders to not let me eat the entire contents of the fridge and I'm sorry in advance for the steroid moodswings that are to come.

We know this is a risk that's always there but I'll carry on laughing my way too remission one day I'll be steroid free!