4 years and counting

So today marks 4 years since I was finally rushed to hospital and diagnosed with nephrotic syndrome after weeks and weeks of constant swelling, blood tests and trips to the doctors. I clearly remember feeling so full of relief when I actually knew what was happening to me and in all honesty at the time ending up in hospital meant getting better, even if it was one of the scariest things I've ever been through.

Got to say I did think that everything would be sorted once I walked out of that hospital after a long week of drips and drugs, I really didn't know the nature of NS at that point and thought I was fixed, the swelling had gone and for all I knew then the steroids were not a long term thing, Ha, here we are 4 years later still on 40mg, never fab but battling through as per.

I know compared to a lot of sufferers my journey is still relatively new, 4 years is a pretty short time compared to some of you that have lived with this for most of your life, but I'm not going to sit here and lie it really has turned my life upside down and its taken me a long time to make my peace with nephrotic syndrome just becoming part of my everyday life, not to mention learning to live with the crazy that is caused by long term steroid reliance.

I'm not going to be sad today I want to celebrate that I've made it this far and that I've finally learnt to love my body after everything its been through.  Yes I'm always going to have scars and yes I'm always going to be hungry (My whole life is fighting steroid hunger now) but that doesn't  mean I can't love life like I did before, if anything I'm thankful for the fact I can still be at uni and attempt to carry on pretty much normally.

To be perfectly honest i've had to stop beating myself up on the bad days, because in four years I'm allowed to get angry that life isn't working out how I might of expected when I was leaving high school and all this was way off in the future. Its going to get me down but i'm honestly doing the best I can, theres always going to be challenges but I'll continue to try and smile and write blogs about the ridiculous situations I find myself in.

I owe the biggest thank you's to my family, for the countless emotional meltdowns they've defused, the long hours we've all spent in hospital waiting rooms when we could of been anywhere else and for the constant understanding that I will eat the entire content of the fridge if I'm not restrained!! Another massive thank you to my boyfriend, who in the last four years has put up with far more than he signed up for and even agreed to move in with me despite the countless roid rage incidents he's been on the receiving end of and the constant waving of dipsticks under his nose. Finally, to Norfolk and Norwich Hospital and their renal team (Especially Doctor Andrews, if you ever read this) who have gone above and beyond to allow me to be at Uni and continue treatment, I honestly cannot praise and thank them enough!

Here's to the next four years of the fight!!!!