Roller coaster riding

2017 has been abit of a slow start for my blog, the amount of reading I've had to conquer over the last few weeks doesn't bare talking about, but I guess that's what I get for deciding to study an English degree and I should just be thankful that I'm well enough to be drowning in novels and plays I guess. I've been on the quiet side as things had been going well, 9 months relapse free and down to 8mg, which is the lowest I've ever managed, I mean there's only stuff to write about when things take a turn for the worst...

For a neph sufferer sitting in random places having an emotional moment due to what we go through isn't unusual, but that's me right now sat in the middle of uni trying not to cry after dipping my pee and finding I'm almost at a plus 3, after months and months of yellow that only started to turn less than a week ago. To top it off I've just come out of my fist diss lecture. Yeah stressed isn't the word.

I know I know, I shouldn't get so het up it might be nothing and go back to normal on it's own, but then it might not. I guess that's the point of this blog post how much stress living with this puts on your life, one moment you're felling fab and back to how you were before this illness turned you life upside down, the next you sat in uni 120 miles from home, trying to get your head round the possibility of life on high steroids again and how to contend with the inevitable side effects or the swelling that can come.

For all of you out there that are far braver than me, I'm trying to be positive, this could all be under control by my 21st birthday next month (we have to hope) but as we all do I have to go face a room full of my friends and peers who think I'm totally normal and fine when realistically I'm scared about what's going to come.

Lucky for me I am back home for a week on Friday letting me have a chance to sort myself out, I know not everyone is this lucky. Here's to praying for a yellow stick soon 💛