James Joyce can wait..

It's always hard to fit my blogging around university life, deadlines, finding a new place to live and the thousands of other things I probably should be doing right now, like revising for a modernism exam, but hey James Joyce can wait for a little while. I felt like I needed a bit of a vent, after dropping my dose slightly on Saturday i'm still feeling the rubbish effects of the wean as well as the constant worry that a relapse will be around the corner. Got everything crossed that a little yellow square remains firmly in place. 

I have to admit I've been feeling the pressure well and truly this week; I bet I'm not the only one, trying to keep my emotions under wraps while I'm at uni but dropping my dose has seemed nearly impossible, i'm waiting  for the moment I either burst out crying in the middle of a seminar about Freud (god knows how he'd interpret that) or someone turns round and asks why I'm being a moody cow. But with deadlines just around the corner and the fear of not being well at christmas, I feel like I'm exhausting myself through worry. I thought this would be a sentiment shared by not only neph patients but by parents as well, so I thought i'd share. Living through this isn't easy and I wouldn't be doing all you little fighters justice if I sat here and pretended my life was normal. 

But the point is I am sat here in my second year of uni, fighting on to achieve what I want. To many of my fellow students think things like Ulysses are a total bore (don't get me wrong it was the most tedious thing i've ever read) but I'm going to make the most of every single thing as three years ago I never thought in a million years I would be sat at uni 120 miles from home, fending for myself, you can't take anything for granted with a condition like ours. 

The thought that we should celebrate how much we all achieve despite that problems we encounter came to me when several patients shared things they had overcome and achieved while under treatment, I think we need far more of this positivity, it helps all of us. This made me look back over some pictures of my journey  (I'm gonna share a few, sorry to bore you) but it just reminds me to keep going because our kidneys no matter how screwed up, aren't the be all and end all for us! 

(My First ever swelling, I went on my first date with my now boyfriend like this!)

 

Gigging while relapsing became a normal thing at the start of my NS- couldn't cancel so just carried on all be it bit chubbier

This last photo was taken the day I finished my A levels, I started them during a relapse
and sat them with my feet up on a chair and on a high dose
of steroids- you can see the steroid cheeks!!!
h